Please forgive me, but there are so many discussions possible and necessary with these two chapters! See you Friday!
1. On page 128 Lemon talks of how we grew up with what we considered "normal". That norm is now being challenged in many ways, personally and societally. What is most obvious to you? What is hardest for you to accept? What parts of your early-life's "normal" are you still coming to terms with or afraid to accept as once having been your truth?
2. What are your thoughts about Isabel Wilkerson's take on the "caste" vs. "racism"? MLK, Jr. realized "segregation was just another word for caste." Do you agree? Wilkerson goes on to say, "We need new language in the era of upheaval that we live in now." How will a new language help elicit the necessary changes?
3. "Changing hearts and minds is a noble ambition, but I'm more interested in changing behaviors." Lemon describes advertisers' awareness of the economic benefits of changing their ways to accommodate the masses. Do you believe the shifts he highlights could make a difference? "The most civilized way to wage our uncivil war is to make it clear that a price will be paid for racism - and for the perception of racism - as it pervades the culture in which we hope to do business with each other." What are you willing to do or give up in order to make an economic statement against racism?
4. In chapter 7 Lemon tells us that anger, solidarity, compassion and vision make change happen. Do you think any one is best at creating long-lasting change? Can you think of any other attributes to change?
5. Some general thinkers:
Do you talk to your friends about racism? If yes, what are some surprising things you've learned? If not, why do you think that is?
Lemon makes a clear argument that we didn't get here by accident. What White supremacist structures are still currently in place preventing equity and equality for all Americans in this country?
What purposeful actions are you taking after reading this book? What personal next steps do you anticipate?
Hello book friends, I am not 100% sure if I will make Friday's meeting as Lennon has to go under general anesthesia (yikes!) that morning for dental work. I have no idea how long that will take. I will post my thoughts here in advance but if I am sitting in a waiting room, will try to join you all on Zoom.
ReplyDelete1.
“Normal” as Lemon describes it, is a state that we tend to return to, and describes how frighteningly different that normal is for a Black man interacting with society, like a perpetual hypertension. Normal for some of us has changed over time, or our perception of it. My own childhood normal was relatively privileged in the context of others’ experiences, at least financially, although I struggled socially and culturally to fit in. Lemon gives so many examples of the “gaslighting” people of color experience when questioning whether or not an interaction was negative, and/or the result of one’s color. I certainly have a general tendency to not take reports and videos at face value, often wondering what led to those events and behaviors. For example, I have a distaste for reality television, knowing most of what I see was planned and orchestrated by producers to get my reaction, which I resolve not to give them. I am always running the “devil’s advocate” or opposing viewpoint in my head as I am listening to a one-sided argument, even if the viewpoint isn’t my own. However, in the context of considering oppressive and racist events, this questioning of motives reads as incessant excuse-making, and is exhausting for BIPOC to hear. It diminishes their experiences which are real (regardless of others’ motives and biases implicit or explicit) - these experiences are real, and it is what shapes their normal.
2.
I have some strong feelings about caste, as my family comes from a country still very much entrenched in caste system hierarchy, once a legally structured and accepted form of racism. Even though it is “illegal” now, and I am admittedly unfamiliar with Indian politics, I know enough to say that overt discrimination is still alive and well, and many of my family members are doing the oppressing. A quick Google search will tell you the caste system ended in India in 1948, but that’s a little bit like saying discrimination against Blacks ended here in 1965. To be perfectly honest, there are religious zealots in my family for whom discrimination/oppression/exclusion is literally a part of their religion. My extended family is so large (I have 10 maternal aunts and their in-laws’ families) that thankfully there are a variety of political and social opinions, enough that we have some diversity and good dialogue, but it hasn’t been productive except among the younger generations. Some have given money to racist causes promoting their caste (a rather powerful one), while others have argued that joint family efforts such as a scholarship in my racist grandfather’s name should be open to students of all castes. These are just examples of caste discrimination that I know about, but it runs deep. Many of you know my mother did not attend my wedding, as I was the first to marry outside my religion (let alone caste) and I was disowned by the family at large, at least initially. Decades ago, my cousins (20+ children of the 11 sisters) made a “pact” when we were younger never to let the political/social differences of our parents come between us and I’m happy that it has mostly held up. It was hard for me to even type this response because I honestly want to wash my hands of so much of this horrible family history and exclusive practices. I am just grateful to be born in the USA where I grew up not exposed to as much of the caste system as my first cousins were, although we clearly have our own serious problems with race here. I am sure Don Lemon would say that we have far more “pretense” about the existence of our racism in America than the concrete classes defined in religious scriptures and other governments.
-Veena
3.
ReplyDeleteI would absolutely be willing to change my behaviors and decisions to make a statement against racism. I have made and continue to make very small but firm economic statements to support or protest a cause. There are 2 retailers that are a hard no for me, and I avoid food products from companies who use certain irresponsible ingredients I oppose. I don’t wish to post those names here but you can ask me! I do so because I believe (although it’s silly), it is one small step I can take towards getting that product to be manufactured without that ingredient. I try not to push these beliefs on others, not because I don’t mind speaking this truth, but because I feel that people don’t always think their behavior is powerful enough to make a difference. Perhaps mine isn’t either, but if we all stopped buying it, you better believe they would change how they make it. Don Lemon puts a practical layer on it with the statement “a price will be paid for racism”. It is well in line with his call to action, perhaps meant to spur those of us who see no personal benefit to come in changing our behavior. Many of us will need to see a little cost-benefit to be motivated to change, if not motivated purely by our sense of what is right and wrong.
5.
Yes, I do talk to my friends about racism, and was about to type that I just did so yesterday at lunch with a friend. However, I just realized, I really only do so with friends who I already know are like-minded. It is the safe route, given my confrontation-avoidant personality. So unfortunately, no, I don’t know if I have learned much as a result of this relative cowardice. My friend at lunch yesterday mentioned that she no longer talks to her once-friends that had a certain political viewpoint. I responded that I would never do that, because if we didn’t keep the lines of communication open across political/social divides, how could good dialogue ever continue, and how could middle ground necessary for progress ever exist? This really is my hope and my ideal, but it’s not one I am living up to yet.
-Veena